Beautiful Pain
by junkpuppet225
Summary: Misery loves company. Harley and her clown prince deal with their loss. Harley/Joker One-shot.


Title: Beautiful Pain

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Batman, Suicide Squad or the characters in this story. Nor am I making any money from the writing of this piece. The song Beautiful Pain is by Eminem feat. Sia. Contains sexual situations, strong language and very dark themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Rated: M

Summary: Misery loves company. Harley and her clown prince deal with their loss.

Author Note: So. I had a miscarriage a few months ago. Maybe writing this will help get it out of my head. Maybe it will fuck me up worse. Coin flip. Oh wait, that's the wrong bad guy. Review!

xXx

 _It happens all the time; they take your heart and steal your life._

 _And it's as though you feel you've died, because you've been killed inside._

 _Harley_.

She didn't know how many times he had said her name before she finally opened her eyes and looked at him. Her beautiful, perfect J. She reach out and touched his pale cheek as he crawled into their bed; the smell of vodka consuming him. She had never seen him so lost - starting at her with those piercing blue eyes that held so many emotions at once. Their apartment was eerily quiet as he slid his arms around her frail body and held her against him; burying his face into the bend of her shoulder. He had sent most of the men home - only a handful of the toughest standing guard from The Bat.

"You need to eat, pumpkin'. I'll send Dwayne out for whatever you want."

"I don't want nothin'." She whispered as tears began to pool in her eyes once again. There was only one thing she wanted and it was gone. Two perfect little blue eyed babies. J's babies. They would have had the best sense of humor. The best of both of them. Surely the crazy would have cancelled out and they would have been normal, outstanding citizens. The thought of them now - years down the road - laughing and running around a large ranch house broke her heart all over again.

J held her tighter as she sobbed.

X

 _Harley kissed him hard on the lips; giggling as he nipped at hers and pulled her in closer to his chest. They were alone in the private section of his club and the clown prince was in a good mood._

" _You're a feisty little bitch tonight, Harl. I love it!" J laughed, a quick cackling sound that filled the room and caused her to join him. He leaned his head back as she pushed her fingers through his hair and kissed him again; grinding her hips against his as his hands found her body._

 _He was going to fuck her across every inch of this room tonight._

" _Mistah J…" Harley whispered against his ear as a moan escaped him. This vixen would be the death of him. "Yeah baby?" He groaned._

" _There's somethin' I gotta tell ya baby." Her mouth moved down his exposed neck slowly._

" _Then tell me."_

 _Harley pulled away from him suddenly and met his disappointed gaze. "I don't know if ya gonna like it, puddin'." He lost his smile, pushing himself up to a sitting position quickly - causing Harley to stumble off his lap._

" _Tell me." He demanded; his voice low and threatening._

 _Harley adjusted her short dress quickly looking everywhere but at his cold terrifying glare. She silently prayed he wouldn't hit her._

" _Alright, puddin'. It's nothin' bad per say. I mean I don't think so at least. I think it's a wonderful thing that's gonna change-."_

" _TELL ME!"_

 _Harley squealed, throwing her hands up as he pulled his gun and aimed it at her head - causing her to blurt out her secret before he killed her._

" _I'm pregnant!"_

 _Joker stared at her in disbelief, eyes wide and silent as he took this information in. It wasn't often that anyone caught him off guard. They stood in complete silence for several minutes before Joker finally began to laugh. His usual cackling howl that filled the room and her heart. He grabbed her quickly and twirled her around before kissing her._

" _I knocked you up?" He asked staring at her in amazement. "Yeah, baby. We're gonna have a baby." She assured with a smile. He laughed again - pulling her towards him. "It's going to take a month just to put all the guns on safety! Plus the knives! Were gonna have to put them all in one room and get one of those child proof lock things."_

 _Harley watched him in wonder; her heart swelling with love as he went on and on about their child. She had never seen him so excited._

 _"Oh, J! I knew you'd be happy!" She squealed, kissing him quickly._

X

Now he lay beside her with a frown plastered on his face. His eyes were rimmed in crimson and she didn't know if it was from his own tears or all the liquor he had poured down his throat in the past few days.

"I don't know why I eva thought we'd deserve somethin' so sweet, J. We're bad people. Bad people don't get good shit."

He didn't deny her words just stared through her as they sank in.

X

 _Dr. Felson trembled as J pressed his gun harder against her temple - his vacant stare almost more terrifying than the pistol. Harley was doubled over on the examination table sobbing into her hands as he glared at the small screen in the room with two inanimate objects staring back at him._

" _Fix this." He demanded in a voice he had never heard before. It dripped with a type of pain he had never known. The threat behind his words caused the doctor to come alive. "Mr. Uh, Joker. Sir. I am terribly sorry for your loss. There's nothing that can be done. The babies are…"_

" _Don't. Don't fucking say it. Just do something. Fix her." He growled pointing the gun at Harley. "Fix this or I swear I'll blow your brains all over this fucking place."_

" _Okay! Okay. Harley follow me down the hall. I'll do a common day procedure to remove the, uh, fetuses. You can wait in here until we are done and then I'll come get you." She assured quickly, finally breathing as he lowered his gun and looked at his princess. She now shared his vacant stare. Harley watched as he closed the space between them and fell to his knees before her - looking up into her sad blue eyes._

" _You told me you'd live for me, remember?"_

 _She nodded slightly._

" _I love you, Harl." He kissed her gently before allowing her to stand and follow the doctor out of the examining room. Once he was alone he slumped back on the table - slamming his gun against his face repeatedly before falling back with a maniacal laugh. Everything had turned to shit so quickly. Just a few weeks ago she was happy - stealing baby clothes from the local stores, drawing up plans for their three-story mansion in the suburbs._

 _Now she was dead inside. Literally and he idly wondered if she would ever return to him. If there was any coming back from something like this. His laugh faded and he pushed himself up from the makeshift bed - glancing around the room._

 _He left a few minutes later - entrusting the doctor with Harley's well-being and leaving his men in the hall in case she got brave. He needed to be alone. The feeling in his chest - that same tightness he felt in the kitchen with Harley months back was intensified and nearly unbearable now. When did all of this happen? He never felt love before. He never gave a shit about anything other than himself before that night at Arkam. The infamous night he met Dr. Harleen Quinzel._

X

 _She walked in all legs and ass with her tight skirt and heels. She knew what she was doing before she even spoke. Eyeing him carefully as she sat down his opposite and smiled. What a lovely smile it was. A shame he would have to cut it off her pretty face._

" _Could you state your name for the record?" She asked softly, watching him from above her glasses before pushing them up on her face. He made her no attempt to answer just stared until she shifted her weight nervously under his gaze. "Your full name, mistah J?"_

 _Oh that accent. He bet she was a naughty little Jersey girl. He couldn't wait to see just how much. She unfolded her legs and leaned back casually in her chair, silently assuring him that she had all day if that's what it took. Oh yes, this girl was a keeper._

" _I don't have a name." He said truthfully causing her eyebrow to arch._

" _Everyone has a name."_

 _"Not when your parents were abusive alcoholic psychos that only called you dipshit or asshole your whole life. I don't recall them ever saying an actual name."_

 _Harleen jotted his words down on her pad of paper quickly._

" _Can I ask your name? A beautiful girl like you surely has an equally beautiful name." She couldn't hide the blush that touched her cheeks as she flipped her name badge over. "Harleen. Harleen Quinzel."_

" _Oh that is beautiful. Harlequin, like the jester."_

 _She rolled her eyes at the thought, very professional doctor, but he didn't miss her sly grin. The irony wasn't lost to her after all._

 _"Do your friends ever call you Harley?"_

" _I don't have very many friends."_

 _Joker grinned at the thought leaning towards her with a sparkle in his eye. His smile was so innocent, almost childlike as he assured; "We'll, Harley. You do now."_

 _X_

 _A month later he was free from that wretched straight jacket; his arms reaching up nearly to the ceiling as he made his way to Harley. A sly grin on his pale face. His goons were being a bit too rough with the good doctor. Her blouse ripped in all the right places. He called them off of her and smiled leaning over so she could get a good look at him._

 _"What ya gonna do Mistah J? You gonna kill me?!" She asked unable to hide the fear in her words. "I can take it."_

 _Oh he didn't doubt one second that she could and she would. His sweet little vixen. She had so much potential. She had got him what he needed to escape this vile place and he wasn't leaving without her. The real Harley Quinn. The girl she kept locked away behind her diplomas and tight skirts._

 _"Oh I'm not gonna kill ya. I'm just gonna hurt ya. Really, really bad."_

 _He lowered the prongs to her temple as one of his men hit the juice - causing her beautiful body to arch violently as her screams filled the halls. There was no one left to save her._

 _He juiced her again. Causing memories of her past to resurface. Her abusive father. Her dominate mother. Gymnastics. The creepy coach that did inappropriate things to her when he thought no one was looking. Realizing her mother new but didn't care. Her college professors giving her failing grades just so they could fuck her. Over and over memories she tried so hard to suppress came flooding into her conscious._

 _Just when she thought she couldn't bare another minute of this torture her eyes snapped opened - searching for release. Searching for him. J leaned over her again - the brightest most magnificent smile on his red lips._

 _"There's my girl." He cooed, leaning down to kiss her softly. When we pulled away she was smiling too._

X

Harley blinked away the memory and searched J's face. He was watching her silently and carefully. His beautiful Harley so full of grief. It matched his pain perfectly. They needed some destruction to get out of this funk. Sometime to take their minds off the pain of the last several days.

"I've got a meeting with some local muscle tonight at our club. You could come with me? Wear that dazzling gold dress I bought you? It would do you good to get out."

Harley opened her eyes wider at the thought. She did love that dress.

"I'll let you dance with anyone you want."

Her frown slowly melted away to a grin. "Then you'll kill 'em, puddin'?"

"Of course I'll kill 'em. Well take the purple Lamborghini. I know that's your favorite. That one always attracts the bat!"

Harley suddenly began to laugh, her twisted warped mind becoming her own again. She needed to get out. She needed to tease and torture the locals and then laugh in their faces as her puddin' smashed their skulls in for even thinking they had a shot with her.

Joker watched as she jumped from the bed - dancing on her toes as she moved towards the closet of their room. The thought of someone else's suffering seemed to take some of her own away.

"Give me thirty minutes baby and I'll be ready."

He sat up slowly and grinned. All thoughts of their previous misfortune gone as excitement filled the room.

 _'but today's going down in flames,_

 _throw the match, set the past ablaze._

X

Fin.

A/N: So I'm not sure this story captured what I wanted. I'm not sure if it's any good. I wanted it to be darker, deeper but I just couldn't manage to go there. Maybe I'll revamp it later on. Let me know what you think? 3


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